Tuesday, June 20
Simplicity is beauty
I don't know if it is just me or what, but bad things seem to like to happen all at the same time. Like as if life isn't screwed enough for me to take in more.
I may appear to be strong on the outside but that doesn't mean i don't feel a thing when you throw your crude comments over. I never liked being ordered around, or should i say, i never let anyone order me around and so what makes you think you are an exception? Not saying a thing back to you doesn't mean i agree with what you say. But rather, i seriously see no need to continue this conversation because all you see is youself.
I wouldn't say i'm smart. But i do get decent grades, i do get my priorities right, i do get my work done, and i do have a sense of urgency. Ever heard of the cliche saying, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy? Well i think you are very dull. I do play around, hang out pretty often and have alot of fun. But at the end of the day, i still get my work done, and i dare say it's of acceptable quality. I don't see the need for being so uptight.
I get people saying i am temperamental. Temperamental being
subjecting to varying moods; likely to perform unpredictably. When i am happy, i am truly happy and i can be like a silly idiot smiling to herself. And when i am upset, i ponder about the issue and it goes on and on in my mind for days. It has always been like that and it still works this way for me. It is not like as if i enjoy going all quiet in front of my friends when they are happily laughing over something. It is just that i cannot bring myself to force out a laughter, because if i did, it would probably turn out dry. Some people can look happy 24/7 despite what is going on beneath that exterior. But I can't, when I'm happy i get crazy, when I'm angry i blow, when I'm upset i keep quiet and when I'm hurt i break down. I think it is just as simple as that. To you, i might go quiet for no reason, thats why i appear temperamental to some. But in fact, there are reasons and I'm upset inside. I just hope you know.
It is so frustrating when you have to think about what others feel before you can do something. Sometimes, i have so much to say but end up saying nothing because i'm bounded by the limits other people set. Nowadays, it is so difficult to do something and not be judged. I am feeling pretty dumb right now regretting not doing certain stuff when the time was perfect for me. And all that i know now is that this feeling is killing me.
In places where people are involved, things can get pretty complicated. I was happy one moment and suddenly, i find myself stuck in a situation that i thought had almost nothing to do with me.
Simplicity is beauty and ignorance is bliss. If only things could be kept simple and the world would be such a better place to live in.
BREATHED @ 5:05 PM
