I don't know why some people always say that they want to die when something so minor happens. "Hey, my results are so bad, i want to die" or "My family is so fucked up, i feel like dying" or worse, "i just broke up with my bf/gf, i really feel like dying" I'm not talking about those times when they are joking or what, it's at times when i'm trying to console them and suddenly they tell me they don't want to listen but just want to die!? I know they probably don't mean it anyway, but it kinds of irritates me to hear that. Or probably it's just me that has heard that phrase too many times. Then when they tell me they want to die, it reminds me of that nothing-better-to-do person who sms me just to tell me he cut his wrist when i am not even close to him.

Ahh, and talking about cutting wrists, i know i used to do it too but now i realised it's damn dumb. Cut already problem also not solved. And recently i came across this friend's ex gf's friendster and she have pictures of her cut wrists, and they were bloodied carvings of some guy's name and how much she loves him. SICKO. If i were the guy i would have freaked out.

Anyway, i realised jh works in town too :) Yay, i have free cookies to eat. Woohoo. I think in life, we don't actually need so many friends. It's the true ones that really matter. Haha, just some random thought here because baby commented that i looked really happy nowadays- that i have a good boyfriend (lol) and a few groups of good friends :) I met kok, gerald and jeffrey after work on friday. I don't know why but it makes me really happy to see them. Heh :)

I've been having runny nose for 2 days already so today when i blew my nose, my ear got blocked. So fuck, now i have one block nose, and two blocked ears. And i tell you, the feeling sucks. So jh told me, "press on your nose and exhale slowly, then your ear won't block laa" and i told him, i wished i could just exhale properly :( Ahh. i can't breathe and i can't hear.

Anyway, that day me and yuting walked past this market and we saw a rather peculiar object. Then we looked closer and realised it was a vegetable, potato we thought. I said it was fat and stout, she said it was full of she-don't-know-what. So i told her it's mould, she said it's roots and then i tell her it's holes and she said it's stens and it's hairy. Then we both got bored and decided, whatever it is, it won't last long in this state. Well well, sorry for another very random paragraph, but this is what happens sometimes when we get bored. yea.

Pardon me for this very disorganised post, i just needed to spill some thoughts. Heh.

BREATHED @ 1:48 AM

PTCO :)

And i thought it's gonna be very long till i get to see PTCO again. But we met up again last wed. Thanks to miscommunications, we met on the wrong bridge. hahahaha. Orginal plan was to go katong, but then quite expected ah, ended up at parkway. haha. Well, i like that place anyway, it feels home to me :)

Ate at yoshi and i don't know what, it just seems to me that we can talk about anything, though most were of nonsense and ryn's sudden laughter outburst. But that's what makes ryn ryn if you get what i mean. haha. Then the guys butts started to ache and needed some cushion to ease their pain so we walked around a bit and moved to pacific coffee company. That was where photo galore started. They didn't allow me to use my camera since it took ghostly pictures. You all are such idiots.

Meeting them always makes me happy. Actually i don't really remember clearly how the four of us managed to get together. But i'm glad we did anyway. I wouldn't mind going back a few years to when me and ryn wrote small notes to each other and had our papers and scores decorated. Or how we would seat under the rotunda (Is this how it's spelt?) during breaks.Haha. Or how i would bump into liver on bus 15 then we will argue about who should sit. Then by the time someone sat, i already reached. Or pig who doesn't bathe his dog and yes only i love joy. Ok, liver claims that he does too. Well, can't blame you pig for neglecting ur dog because she ate things she shouldnt have. Ahh, silly secondary school days, but sweet sweet memories.

SEE HOW WE HAVE CHANGED

BREATHED @ 1:32 AM

Kenneth got knocked down by a bike yesterday. Hit and run case. Fucker. Thank goodness some nice cab uncle stop by to send him to the hospital. Really hope you are fine. Don't worry so much. you'll be alright :)

Anyway, i'm meeting PTCO tmr again. WOO. Meeting them makes me happy :D


And and and. I must thank yuting for the fat piece of news last night. hahahahahahahaha. It has been really long since i got all hyped up over something. YOU never fail to impress us with your knowledge of speed.

BREATHED @ 12:57 AM

AHHHHH! THERE'S A FUCKING LIZARD IN MY ROOM!! I WAS SHOOTING BAYGON AT IT AND IT DISAPPEARED! I CAN'T SLEEP KNOWING THERE'S A LIZARD SOMEWHERE IN THE ROOM. AND WHEN I TOLD PIG I SAW A LIZARD, HE TOLD ME TO CLOSE MY EYES AND COUNT TO TWENTY, THEN IT WILL DISAPPEAR. NOW IT REALLY DISAPPEARED. ARRRGGG! :((((((

SHIT YOU PIG.

BREATHED @ 1:18 AM

Old friends.

Finally met up with ryn, pig and oliver today. Been soooooo long since we met up. Think the last time was 2 or 3 years back right? Met at parkway and after much indecisiveness, we decided to chill at caffe bar- the place with extremely delicious bread. But, service was slow and we got cheated of 28 bucks. Please go do something about it, get a refund or something pig. Talked about alot of stuff, things that i've almost forgotten.

No where to go after that, so decided to do the usual thing- pool. Nothing much there. After that, decided to do more catching up, or rather due to ryn's cravings for cheesecakes, we went to starbucks. Lol. Wanted to order but realised they don't have the cheesecake ryn wanted. But we found something new. It's called "ugly chicken puff" and "ugly curry puff". Haha. As usual, we were laughing at it, just like how we used to laugh at BLPs.

Although we didn't really do much today, the feeling was great. Just like what pig says. "It's like meeting a mini family!" I totally agree :) I love them for being just them. Ryn for laughing over everything, be it funny or not. Oliver for giving funny answers all the time and pig for being just so heck care and lazy but the actual fact is that he cares. It seems like it's gonna be a long time we're gonna find time to meet again since we're all busy with our own schedule. Just telling you guys that i love you all loads :)

That's me and ryn in the pretty toilet. Heh.

I love them loads. PTCO :)

BREATHED @ 12:21 AM

Take a few steps back.

Again, i was having very bad cramps so i was in bed the whole day. I had no idea how long i slept but i had a dream that seemed so long and amazing real. When i woke up, i sat up and felt rather taken aback. I don't exactly know why. Perhaps because the dream was pretty much like whatever has happened or is happening in my life. In the dream were events that happened to me, some exactly like what happened in real life, some had not the same, but similar things happening, but in a different location. The characters in the dream seemed to be the people who played significant roles in my life.

The dream started off with me having lunch with yuting,fer,samantha,baby,eden and weijie. Michelle was not present, just like how she wasn't present on that only "out-of-school" lunch i had with these six people. The location was different but the feeling was very much the same. Then after lunch, we were walking along the streets and we ended up in my junior college. But then, mj didn't look like the mj i knew. There were alot of people, people in home clothes sending in their applications for JAE or DAE, people in school uniform going to school or to collect their A level results. Then i saw kok and the rest. Not one person was missing, even jirong, huimin, sam, jorce and yenling were there. We were all tearing, not because of parting, but because of reunion. At this point, baby and the rest seemed to disappear from the dream suddenly. We talked about how we met, dance practices, choir practices, guy crazed moments, after school hangouts. It was almost like everything that happened between me and all of them. After that, i received a call from kenn, so i left the group and walked on. As i was walking on, i realised that i wasn't holding my phone, so it seemed that kenn's call had somehow disappeared too just like how he comes and goes in my life. Walking on, i met darryl, jonathon and christine. To think of it, it was a very weird combination. But anyway, darryl asked me "Eh, your handphone is use sound or what arr. On radio leh" I know this part sounds very very dumb but darryl really did ask me the exact same thing last time. Jonathon was probably there because he was darryl's buddy. As for christine, i can't figure out why she was there, probably just for the simple fact that we were pretty close that time.

Walking on, the three of them disappeared, and baby and the rest seemed to appear again. We walked to a place which seemed like a canteen. We saw people in a queue rushing to hand in their JAE applications. Then suddenly zifeng walked past and i shouted his name twice. He didn't hear me so i ran forward and tried to catch up with him. When i reached to where he was, i couldn't find him. Then someone tapped me and i turned and it was him. It seemed pretty real because zifeng always try to unnoticely tap me from the back. Anyway, we (baby and the rest pus zifeng) walked to a bench where we saw wenghong tobby and yinglong. Then as i was thinking when i woke up, i realised that fer was not with us during this "walking on" part which was- in real life the period of time she went back to Indo.

After a while, baby and i stood up and said we had to leave. we walked out and it was pouring heavily. Baby was pushing a bike (i don't know where it came from) We seeked shelter and we came to this place where we got separated but a huge crowd. It was so packed i couldn't find baby and i couldn't walk back. I decided to walk on, and along the way, i saw my secondary school friends.I saw pig, ryn, oliver. Then i saw shaz and cheryl. I saw xueping and eileen. I saw marcus and delon. I saw zenas and ron. I saw chikin,johnson and changrong. I saw alot alot of people. I walked on and i saw myself, leaning against this white canvas throwing up and on the verge of fainting. I wanted to help because at that moment, i knew that was me because i always faint and throw up. But then, the other me couldn't see me and i felt very helpless and scared. There was a loud buzzing sound going on in the background and everything seemed to be blurry yellow figures. I ran all the way out and i bumped into baby. I hugged him tight and he told me everything was going to be alright and i felt better immediately. Also, one weird thing i realised when i woke up- baby was with jason when i bumped into him and they looked like they were buddies.

Then, baby and i got onto the bike and we rode off. the rain seem to have stop and everybody in the huge shelter seem to have disappeared. We came to the street where my old house used to be. There we saw yinglong and wenghong again, on bikes too. We all rode on, and came to this huge ditch. It was pitch black and when i looked in, i heard people calling my name. Confused, i wanted to jump in but baby begged me not to. He was holding on very tightly to me and there were tears in his eyes. I was tearing too but i told him i had to go. Then the black hole suddenly disappeared and the whole street was very empty. Baby was very happy that i didn't have to go in the end and he wanted to hug me tight but then i was already slowing vanishing. Baby was still begging me in desperation and this was when i woke up.

I sat up for really long thinking about the dream. I took a while to realise it was a dream, because everything seemed so real. It was like a flashback of my memories. From now, to college to secondary school. And throughout the whole dream, i was "walking on" or should i say "walking back". People say that when you die, your life flashes before you. Of course, i'm not saying i was on the verge of dying. It just made me wonder, what if there really was such a flashback, it would be pretty saddening to realise that it would be the moment where time has taken its toll on you, and you look back on what you have endured and what you have put others through. You may regret but there is probably nothing that you can do anymore. Or what if the life we are leading now is actually the flashback and the fact is that we are already dead. Do any of us really exist or are we all just part of something in a much greater reality's dream?

BREATHED @ 9:00 PM

Miss Yuting :)

I've discovered something amazing. She strikes the same pose almost everytime. There.

Now we all can see her attempt to display modesty and shy-ness to show that pretty face. Love you babe. :D

*Anyway. Baby and i battled a lizard together today. Heh*

BREATHED @ 9:55 PM

Sent Fer off at harbourfront ferry terminal this morning. Despite her trying very hard not to cry, she still did. Ahh. Then after she left, her momo teared again. Rather heart wrenching for us to watch but yet feel that its sweet that she's only leaving for about a month plus and yet they're so inseparable. But it was also quite expected cause they pratically see each other everyday and i'm sure it'll feel weird not to be able to do so for one whole month. Anyway, take care momo shah and fer. You be back soon!

Went to suntec to catch wolf creek with baby after that. It was very scary at first because we were the only people in the entire cinema and i don't know if it's just me or what but the speakers were turned on damn loud. After that 3 more people came in, so throughout the movie, there were only five pathetic people. The show was alright i guess, at least not like any of Rob Zombie's films. It was base on true events and if it was really really true, then it would show how sick some people can really get. Like who the hell crucifies someone (nails on the wrist instead on the palms) and set dogs to chew you all the way up to your torso and you can't move because you are fucking nailed to the wall. It would be rather sick to watch yourself get eaten slowly waist down cause i don't think you will die immediately once you get bitten but instead die slowly from loss of blood. And then you slowly watch them chew off your bitten leg or private part. Fuck. Since the show was based on true events, there was not much intentional plot so it was just about some psycho killer who went around killing people. But it's sad to think that some people are just so damn unlucky to meet with such people and then end up getting killed for no reason. And then till now, the bodies of the dead are still not found so it seemed that thet just vanished or went missing. Sad isn't it.

Went for lunch after the movie, walked around a bit and then sent baby to work. :)

Oohh. And i played crimson butterfly with baby today. I know the craze over this game was over rather long ago since there's already the third version already. But i had lots of fun playing it la. It was scary at first, because i could remember very clearly one year back, gladys was describing to me how scary the game was, that she had to stop playing because she was so scared. Anyway, there was one part where i opened the door and there was this ghost right behind it, and it's 3D grpahics la, closed up somemore. I was scared :( And then, the contoller vibrates like crazy whenever there's a spirit nearby. So the controller was vibrating like crazy in my hands before i could even see the spirit. SCARY.

I want to play the third version!!!!

BREATHED @ 10:21 PM

p.s: Happy 8 months fer and shah! :)

BREATHED @ 9:48 PM

Went to town with yuting today, and since she had her 2am craving yesterday, we went to have chickenrice. That shop sells really goddamndelicious chicken rice. But then, it's really a small shop so we had to share a table with other people. Eating with people you don't know feels really weird though. Anyway, yuting managed to take some "threatening" shots of me today, and as promised, i'll put her one up as well (But then, it's not fair because it doesn't look bad at all! Ahh.)


Me in a *~kAwaiI nEh~* pose. She practically rolls on the ground whenever i strike that pose. (AND OF COURSE people, that pose was intentionally done)

BREATHED @ 12:38 AM

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