Tuesday, April 4
I'm sorry.

I suddenly realised that if someone asked me for the reason why things turned out this way, i wouldn't know what to say. It's so silly how this mess even started. I read back on my previous entries and i found one where i said i would not pass judgment on things i do not really know. Apparently it wasn't so. I am such an idiot sometimes. I could accept your flaws before and then why couldn't i now. Honestly, you did not change. I think it was my expectations that did. So what if you weren't perfect in certain areas? Neither am i.


*Funny how time goes by, and blessings are missed in the wink of an eye. Why oh why..*



I get people saying i'm tactful. I don't even know if it is a compliment or what. Seriously most of the time i don't feel so. I don't know what is of truth and what is not. I don't even really know the people around me now. I can trust easily, but once you lose it, i wouldn't even say it's difficult but almost impossible to gain it back from me. I make forgiveness sound like some easy shit, but ultimately, things never became the same.

I don't even now who i am. I don't know what i want and i don't know what i live for. It's not like i am upset or what because i dont think alot of people know who they really are anyway. But at times like this when realisation hits me. I get confuse all over again.

I am a perfectionist with very high expectations only to realise at moments that perfection don't exist. When that happens, i get all disappointed and upset- only to hurt people around me. And even after constant personal reminders to be contented with what i have, i realise i can't. Tell me, why am i such an idiot?



Look at me
you may think you see who i really am
but you'll never know me
Everyday, it's as if i play a part
now i see, if i wear a mask
i can fool the world
but i cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl i see
staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
who i am inside?
I am now, in a world where i
have to hide my heart
and what i believe in
But somehow, i will show the world
what's inside my heart
and be loved for who i am

Who is that girl i see
staring straight back at me
why is my reflection
someone i don't know?
Must i pretend that i'm
someone else for all time
when will my reflection show
who i am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
that burns with a need to know
the reason why
Why must we all conceal
what we think, how we feel
Must there be a secret me
i'm forced to hide

I won't pretend that i'm
someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
who i am inside?





Such a stupid old song that everybody use.


BREATHED @ 2:24 AM

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